I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
