I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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