apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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