Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You can't just leave with hair like that
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
