Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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