woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
