she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
