You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
