you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
