I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize