so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
