I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
