I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize