I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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