he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
