YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize