Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We left an ass print on the piano.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
