Ambien. No doubt about it.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
