I can text with my tongue
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize