260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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