So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
