you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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