I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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