i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
