Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
