i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
