I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
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