You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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