it wasn't lemon gatorade
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize