Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
