im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
