Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I look better un-naked...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
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Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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