Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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