You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
