He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
