Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
