Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
