since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
