Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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