I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
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Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
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Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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