I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
