dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
