She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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