i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
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No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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