The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
