yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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