I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
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I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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