I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
