i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
