i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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