Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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