i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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