you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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