He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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