Plan B is the new Plan A
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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